Sunday, November 8, 2009

Struggleing to stay in the now!

I didn't get the house, but I got the dog. Her name is marley, and she is beautiful! she loves people, she gets along very well with other dogs. She did decide to take herself for a walk one day when someone left tha gate open. She got lost and was picked ouup by animal control and it cost me 75 bux to get her back . Derek and I also got a new puppy, His name is astrix, and he is a chuhuaua. So cute! he's a bit of a whiner though. Hates his kennel and insists on sleeping in the people bed with the people. His whining really frustrates Derek because he does not respond to the usual discpline. We just need to find what works. I will stop by the store and get some mini doggie treats for him. Asterix craves attention, and he's uch a suck! Just like marley actually,. She cries when you have to go anywhere, and she howls at sirens and trains. Last full moon she was horrible! thought she was a wareworlf or something. lol Pissed Derek right off.

We will be moving to chilliwack on the 15th. This will be a challange due to the fact that we dont yet have a house to move into but the notice is all given and everything. One fell through, and we are having timing issues going to look at another one. I hope we get this one, it is really cute inside, just my style, and it is close to amythest books. Hear that Shilo?! just as you decide to move to hope, I move to chilliwack! just cant win sometimes eh? lol But I will likely see you more often, since I work in hope still. Lordco offers full medical and dental benefits including prescriptions, so I am not leaving anytime soon! not unless I transfer, but i dont want to do that. Not right now anyway.

No new developments with the whole divorce thing, that is still kind of in limbo. There is a regestered letter waiting for me at the post office, I am afraid to go get it. I dont know who could have sent it to me other that pat, and I KNOW that will be bad news. I want my girls back!!

I feel unbalanced and emotionally drained. I have made all my decisions based on what I want at that moment. SOmetimes I am wrong and I make the wrong decision. I can't go back and change my mind, I have to stay in the now. NOW is where my power resides, not in the past. all I can do is go take up my power and go ahead, live life, and try an do right by those I love. Derek is mad at me for something I did yesterday. Not to get into details, but I got flustered, said the wrong thing, made the wrong decision, acted out of character for me, and now he's mad. i would love a do-over of last evening, but I can't change the past. I don't know how to make it right, but I will certainly try!

Anyway, I have to go get lunch. Tim Hortons for lunch today!

Love and Light my dear friends and readers!